Bob Woodward should be so lucky.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Yesssss!": 

Since you don't approve my comments, I'll try again: do you really think that this is some massive conspiracy and that your actions will lead to jail time or people to resign? You're not Bob Woodward. You filed a request, they're taking a look at it, then they'll likely deny it and you'll likely post that the conspiracy lives on.  

Can't wait for your next story about how you had to get out of your salon appointment to put a quarter in a parking meter. 



Posted by Anonymous to  Lebo Citizens at June 27, 2017 at 4:25 PM

Round Three

Our brainless commissioners will be approving a third year of paying Tony DeNicola another $9,000 for doing nothing but watching The Deer Hunter from his recliner in Connecticut.

The program has included "volunteer" archers and a dozen private "donated" properties, as well as McNeilly Park located near Brookline, Twin Hills located in Scott Township, Robb Hollow and Public Works located located near Scott and Upper St. Clair, and the Golf Course located on the edge of Castle Shannon.

Mt. Lebanon commissioners will be voting on Monday to hire Tony DeNicola to oversee the archery program with his trail cameras that we bought him last year. The donors and volunteers will also benefit with the venison, also on our dime.

"An avalanche of applicants"

This is for the "avalanche of applicants" who did not get the job. Elaine Cappucci had to resign from the school board since her son was interviewing and ultimately got the job. I understand there are many teachers both within our district and outside of our district who were disappointed/pissed/surprised with the outcome. Now that her son is a Mt. Lebanon teacher and football coach, Elaine Cappucci is running for her old position on the board. Teachers, through a Right To Know, here are the documents pertaining to the hiring of Elaine Cappucci's son.

Response letter to my Right To Know

Documents pertaining to the Cappucci hiring

Please note that on page six of the documents, is the original job posting date of 7/13/2016. On page seven of the documents, Andrew Cappucci applied online on 7/6/2016, a week prior to the job posting. And now you know why there is no trace of Timmy changing the online job posting listed on page three of the documents almost a year later! 

Another school district sues FieldTurf

Neshannock School District sues FieldTurf over defective artificial turf fields
by Louie Torres | 

Jun. 19, 2017, 1:27pm

NESHANNOCK TOWNSHIP SCHOOL DISTRICT

Proposed Class Action | Pending

SUMMARY: Accuses FieldTurf of failing to disclose problems with the turf even after customer complained of deterioration. Counts include breach of contract, breach of warranty, unfair trade practices and fraudulent concealment.

Class Action Complaint is here.
Add New Castle to the growing list of schools who sued FieldTurf.

I first wrote about this in my Lebo Citizens blog post, The 100-Yard Deception.

The website continues to update. FieldTurf: The 100-Yard Deception 

Will I hear again from my buddy, Darren Gill? 

Yesssss!

State Ethics Commission Complaint No. 168

Trouble at Outreach?

Director of Professional & Program Services

Director of Professional & Program Services
Outreach Teen & Family Services - Pittsburgh, PA 15228

The Director of Professional & Program Services reports directly to the Executive Director. This position provides clinical, programmatic and administrative support, supervises a counseling team of between 15-18 members, and is accountable for the development, implementation, and assessment of agency initiatives in order to maintain best practices for clinical standards and outstanding customer service. The position is also responsible for program research, development, implementation, and evaluation, and assists with the expansion of present programming. The position requires the skills to provide clinical/administrative support and supervision to professional counseling staff, program development and evaluation and assisting with the expansion of clinical and programmatic services. Position Qualifications: Belief and support of the Mission and Values of the agency; Ability to work a flexible schedule; Ability to work with individuals of diverse backgrounds and ages; Knowledge of clinical program development and implementation; Knowledge of community resources and community programs; Ability to market services in community environments; Good time management and organizational skills; Valid transportation and a current, valid driver’s license; Successfully pass the required background checks; Attend all applicable professional development trainings to maintain licensure and certification. Education: A Master’s Degree in Counseling, Social Work or related field Certification/Licensure: Must be licensed in the state of Pennsylvania for Clinical Practice Experience: Minimum of five years counseling experience, preferably in the area of adolescents and family; Minimum of five years supervisory or related experience managing and supervising professional staff. For a more complete description: http://www.outreachteen.org/contact-us/jobs/ Email submissions only. Please send cover letter, resume, salary requirements and two references to contact info. Please do not include information in email text, but include important information for consideration in cover letter. Outreach Teen & Family Services is an Equal Employment Opportunity Employer providing equal employment opportunities without regard to regard to race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy, gender identity, and sexual orientation), national origin, age, disability or genetic information. Outreach Teen & Family Services utilizes only job-related criteria in making decisions concerning applicants and employees. Job Type: Full-time 3 days ago ************

In the same boat with Penn Hills, Shaler, and McKeesport

"Penn Hills, Mt. Lebanon, Shaler and McKeesport each lost more than 150 residents since 2015, and more than 450 since 2010, according to Census data."

Scroll down the chart to see our data. Pittsburgh region's population decline continues, Census shows | TribLIVE 

Mount Lebanon Township

33,137

32,741

32,475

-0.82%

-2.00%

I wonder if the PIO will be calling the Trib like she did when the PG put us in the same section of Pittsburgh South as McKeesport.

Castlegate Development Project Update

From their Facebook page:

I know some of you have been wondering what is happening at the site. Not a lot. Debris continues to sit waiting for whatever toxic removal or grinding up that is coming. Meeting has yet to be scheduled with neighbors and developers, mt leb commission, and other interested parties as far as I know. Hard rains continue to carry mud saturated with 100 year old building crap into public sewage system, yards, and homes. Today's photos. Same old, same old.

There is no storm water management in place on the demo site. The mud from the demo site (carrying whatever it is carrying from the demo-- lead? Mercury? Other heavy metals? Asbestos? Who knows?) comes out of the demo site and pours down the hill and into nearby properties, homes, yards, and public sewage systems/ maybe public waterways? This did not happen pre-demo. Not at all. They took out half a hillside, a giant tree, a drainage ditch, and pipe. Then this started. Neighbors have been putting up with this in homes and yards since January.

Foolish and stupid

That's what one resident called the commissioners on Tuesday (yesterday) since they are considering hiring Tony DeNicola for another $9000 to oversee the archery program and "sharpshooting." They have to continue paying Tony thousands of dollars to protect the identities of the archers and twelve private property owners even though there is a decline in deer/vehicle collisions and dead deer pickups.

None of this adds up. Well, actually, it never did. We were told last spring when Mt. Lebanon paid $815.78/deer for "sharpshooting," that the warm weather was to blame for the low body count. Oh wait, also, they couldn't get to where the deer were hiding. Now, there is a decline in deer/vehicle collisions. We were counting incidents, now we are counting collisions. That is what they should have been doing the entire time. Of course, the manager's numbers are out of whack anyway, so who's counting?

“They have a safety protocol that has so far been impeccable,” said Commissioner John Bendel.

Of course, they refused to follow up with Castle Shannon over the two incidents that were reported to Castle Shannon Police.

The commissioners are going to discuss the deer killing at their June 26 meeting. In the meantime, watch out, Pedestrians! Look up, Lebo!

Curbside Greek Food!

Curbside Greek Food!

We kicked off the Holy Cross Food Festival with a great first day yesterday. Come out and see us or check out this year's new addition to the festival - online ordering with curbside pickup!

Simply visit our online ordering site http://holycrossfoodfest.smartonlineorder.com/store/ to choose from our limited menu, select a pick-up day & time, and pay securely online. Then just pull into the Online Ordering Drive-Thru at the community center circle and we'll deliver it to your car. You don't need to find parking or even get out of your car! Let us help you with dinner tonight or share this message with your friends, coworkers and family!

Lamb Shanks are on the Drive-Thru Menu! Come early because they go quickly!

Another inappropriate behavior cover up UPDATED

Remember this? Grogan case filed 022717 

And this? Begor 030717
             Begor 031317

How about this?  Rodella was fired.

Which brings us up to June 11, 2017:

Mt. Lebanon Girls Volleyball coaches Joe Rodella is Elaine Cappucci's friend and is still employed by Mt. Lebanon School District.

And what about the case against John Grogan and Mt. Lebanon School District?

Resolved. We will never know how it was resolved.

By the way, Timmy, before you start changing the online job posting again, this is what is on the District website as of June 11, 2017:

Job posting for Girls Volleyball Coach
Mt. Lebanon Girls Volleyball Coaches

Update June 21, 7:17 AM Case is closed.

The tastes and sounds of Greece, right here in Mt. Lebanon

This 102 yr. old gives it 2 thumbs up!

Free at last

What I forwarded you has my permission to be forwarded, shouted, FB, whatever! Our life sentence with this school district has been pardoned!
Sadie

Good Morning School Board Members,

"I'm worried, my daughter is in life skills and will soon be entering the High school."  "This is my biggest fear."  - This is a quote from a mom referring to my posting of a letter received by the Stang family July 1, 2010 from Brian McFeeley, at that time Principal of Mellon Middle School.

Please find attached, excerpted paragraphs from the July 1, 2010 letter written and signed by Brian McFeeley.  I've only included portions of the letter regarding the sexual assault incident of November 2009 because I want to make sure this garners your undivided attention on the issue at hand.  I have also attached the section including his signature, because I am hoping that you will be as shocked as I was 7 years ago to the fact that a "professional educator" would sign his name to what he had shamefully written.

If so important, you may ask why did I wait 7 years before bringing this forward?  Well, technically, I didn't.  Niko received from his family the resources to understand appropriate touching versus inappropriate touching.  The only reason I waited for was graduation, when we would be free from the school district and no longer need to work with MTLSD for Niko's education.

When this incident occurred, we did meet with the police.  Anyone that knows us, would know our compassion for any special needs individual.  We did not want to pursue charges against this child but was concerned for his own well being.  My first thought was "oh no, where did this little boy learn this behavior?"  After discussing my concern with the Mt Lebanon police detective, that the little boy who inappropriately touched Niko may be dealing with this as a "learned behavior" because someone was touching him, the kind officer suggested that would be something the school should look into.  He further suggested I ask them to bring in an expert that explains part of a Sex Education program to students in Life Skills/Autistic Support Classes.  Sounded so simple......  And so our rocky road began.....

While I will never get the answer I was looking for, my goal now is to make sure no other student, no other mother, needs to receive treatment for PTSD because of what MTLSD will put them through.

Bottom Line:

1.  Are students in Life Skill/Autistic Support classes apparently still left unsupervised for ANY amount of time?
2.  Brian stated in the 2010 letter that he was the Trained District Personnel designated to investigate any alleged cases of sexual harassment.  I would like to know the course used for this training so that I may go to our local State Representative to create "NIko's Law" so the training materials can be revised to reflect that how long a person touches you is relevant.  (Because Brian indicated since it was less then a minute, the point was moot.)
3. Has the school district really been looking since November 12, 2009 for a specialist in Sex Education that would come into Life Skills/Autistic Support Classes to teach them what their typical peers learn in the district?  I believe by law they should be afforded that.  

Now that Mr. McFeeley is a Principal at the High School, I feel the mother whose quote is included above should be worried.  With the rise of autism, you will continue to need to support these individuals.  I would certainly hope that going forward not only do you have the correct staff in place, they are properly trained, and after training they undergo assessment tests to verify the training worked.

Perhaps the most concerning is that an assault under a minute does not count.  (I assured my now 28 year-old son, who is a teacher in another school district and who this could affect, in our house and by state law, this is not the case.)

To put it in perspective, we should ask ourselves these contextual questions to see the relevance:

Is it ok to drive intoxicated as long as it is less than a minute?

Is it ok to beat a child as long as it is less than a minute?

Would it be ok, if someone touched your child, your grandchild, your elderly parents as long as it was less than a minute?

Or in our case, WAS IT OK that is was less than a minute just because our son is autistic and McFeeley thought he wouldn't know any better?

I do have to say that on June 6, 2017, I got one thing I asked for from the school district, with no fight, no meeting, and no research on my end.  When the Superintendent showed up at Pathfinder, and actually had plans on handing Niko his diploma, I told him kindly, he was not needed .  He did not do anything when he was really needed, he was not entitled to bask in our glory, that was for Michael Houck, the one person we always felt had Niko's best interests and needs in mind.  Mike was the one who actually listened to us, took our Niko stories to heart, (and when he mentioned he saw the only flavor of Doritos that Niko could have, Old School Taco, on a store shelf because they have no red dye!) tears swelled up in my eyes.  Finally, they found someone who doesn't fluff off these special individuals who will never win a football game for the school district, who will never bring them notoriety as an alumni, but who just might bring a smile to anyone they meet.  Sadly, my husband DID notice that Tim Steinhauer didn't even know Mr. Houck's name.  He had to look at his name tag written on the floor under his designated seat at the commencement ceremony, my poor husband was surprised.  Now, that's funny!  Remember, the Special Education offices are not even in the District Building.....still not sure if they forgot they had that department or if they just want to hide it or make it go away.  

We commend Mike Houck on an outstanding job representing Niko. 

I leave you with this, I do pray and I pray a lot, my prayer is that you will never have to hear the words, "it was less than a minute" in the context we did.  My other prayer is anytime you hear the phrase, "less than a minute", you think of Niko.

Sincerely,

Sadie A. Stang

Steinhauer's Affidavit | Job Posting Modification

On May 24, 2017, I filed an appeal with the PA Office of Open Records concerning a Right To Know that I submitted to the School District. Mt. Lebanon submitted a position statement, which included a request to deny my appeal, as well as affidavits from Dr. Timothy Steinhauer and the administrative assistant from the department of Human Resources.

Notice who notarized the affidavits. Jeanine Szalinski is the school district's Open Records Officer (ORO) as well as the superintendent's administrative assistant.

The OOR has until July 24, 2017 to make its Final Determination.

If it is less than one minute, then it isn't sexual harassment.

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and wants to share her story with everyone, now that her child has officially graduated. 

Niko has officially graduated from Pathfinder! I will never be able to thank them enough for all they have done to help recover him from what "a nations top school district did TO HIM!
Tim Steinhauer showed up and actually thought I would let him get near my Niko! HA! This fine Superintendent of MTLSD, didn't even know the name of the only educational specialist MTLSD HAS HAD worthy of the title. Guess why? Well yes, he doesn't care and also because they are in 2 different buildings, yep, all you Lebo fans, the district FORGOT to add the special education offices in their new quadrillion dollar building. or maybe they just hid them.....mmmmm.

One highlight of my morning

Telling Tim, he will not get near, touch or stand up with my son while Mr. Houck hands him his diploma. Wonder what the other 5 Superintendents there thought as they each had a moment with "their graduating student"
More to come.

I will now post a letter written in 2010 that was signed by Brian McFeely, a now Principal at Mt. Lebanon High School.

This principal claims to be trained to investigate any sexual harassment. And his professional findings were that it was less then a minute.

Because it was another special needs students we only asked for a specialist to speak with the class about appropriate touching. Read on as it get more interesting.

All I asked for was a sexual education consultant for special needs adolescents, the state had none....can you believe

Note: Read Tom Moertel's 2010 interview with Sadie on Blog Lebo here. Mt. Lebanon Mom Holds School District Accountable By Blogging

Mt. Lebanon continues to be defiant

Every year, our public officials and public employees are required to file a Statement of Financial Interests with the Municipality or School District, as well as with the PA Ethics Commission. Here are the Municipal Statements of Financial Interests May 2017.

According to the Guide to the PA Public Official and Employee Ethics Act,  The State defines public officials as :

Any person elected by the public or elected or appointed by a governmental body or an appointed official in the executive, legislative or judicial branch of this Commonwealth or any political subdivision thereof, provided that it shall not include members of advisory boards that have no authority to expend public funds other than reimbursement for personal expense or to otherwise exercise the power of the State or any political subdivision thereof.

Former manager Steve Feller was a stickler when it came to filing SFI's. Our new manager Keith McGill, not so much. We already know that Andrew McCreery and Susan Morgans made critical errors on their SFI's. At one time, members of these boards submitted SFI's. http://mtlebanon.org/63/Agendas-Minutes What I am noticing now is the number of SFI's which are no longer filed. Missing in action include:

Mark Quealy, Mt. Lebanon Parking Enforcement Supervisor

Blaise Larotonda

Members of the Historic Preservation Board who have spent $25,000 on Virginia Manor remodeling guides, and brick road recommendations.

Sports Advisory Board, the most powerful board in the Municipality, now are MIA. Their meetings are constantly being canceled. The latest posted minutes are from January 5, 2017.

Mt. Lebanon continues to become more and more defiant. Just ask the Allegheny County Health Department concerning baiting and toxic dust emissions, Scott Township about killing in Twin Hills, PA Office of Open Records, and now the PA Ethics Commission.

June 2017 Behind the Bubble

I want to encourage work outside the home moms who didn't get a chance to share their story, to do so in the comments. In 1985, I had to get special permission from the principal so that my child could stay for lunch since I was working full time. At that time, the principal "encouraged all children to go home for lunch because it was better for them." In the early 2000's, my husband was a stay at home dad since he was disabled. He was involved with the PTA, while I was working two jobs. Oh the stories he shared with me! Thank you, Jason for highlighting the difficulties that working outside the home moms have been experiencing for years.

Beyond Brownies – Mt. Lebanon Moms Who Work 

Outside The Home Tell Their Story

by Jason Margolis

The title of this article, as well as the idea for it, came from 3 different Mt. Lebanon (MTL) residents. They are all women who work outside the home, and shared with me the difficulties they have faced with the Stay At Home Mother (SAHM) culture they see as glorified within MTL. Specifically, because their contributions to school events (like bake sales) were often necessarily different from others, they said they were often made to feel like outsiders.

In trying to understand whether this was an idiosyncratic 3-woman phenomenon, or a sign of a larger and more problematic social trend, I put out a call on MTL Nextdoor to see if any working-out-of-the-home MTL moms wanted to share their experiences.

Dozens of women responded to Private Message me on Nextdoor, or contacted me directly. Several, however, just gave a quick 1-2 sentence response supporting the idea of the article and to briefly mention their experience, then stating that they would not have time to complete the full survey.

Ten women agreed to respond to the full survey – and most had a lot to say. This article is their story (* note: while 2 of the respondents approved the use of their real names, to help de-identify those who wished to remain unnamed, all names used here are pseudonyms).

Because of space limitations, I cannot publish in full each response but instead excerpt sections that represent the essence of their experiences – both individually and collectively.

While most of these women enjoy and appreciate living in MTL, there are several common, somewhat harsh, lived realities they endure. This includes: 1) being socially ostracized by SAHMs; 2) the lack of affordable and varied after school care for their children; 3) frustrations with half-day kindergarten, with these feelings being partially ameliorated by the privately-owned Mt. Lebanon Extended Day Program; and 4) Facing additional differential treatment if they are single working moms and “transplants” to MTL.

Overall, these women do not regret their working-and-parenting-related decisions and the positive example they believe they are setting for their children.

Adeline – Why isn’t daddy at the pool?

“… the moms at the school and cheerleading (and we are talking about girls in 2nd grade) definitely have their clique. I've tried to be friendly and join in conversations but they are not interested in adding new people to their circle. Not only do I work full-time but I'm a divorced single-mom who is self-supported via an excellent job. Many people in MTL (not just women) seem baffled that I (1) would get divorced and (2) that I could support myself. One example I remember is when I went to purchase a pool pass for myself and my 2 kids. The woman couldn't understand that it was only 3 people total, 1 adult and 2 children. She kept asking about a husband or father. It was a bit annoying. When I moved into my previous residence many neighbors didn't seem to understand that I was separating from my husband and looking for a safe place for me and my kids … I've never lived in another community where being divorced was such a foreign concept. As for the PTA and volunteer events at the school, most of those occur during work hours and then when you don't volunteer and participate you're ostracized.

The school district definitely is not in favor of working moms. I've been fortunate enough to have my daughter enrolled in the MTL Extended Day program but that isn't affiliated with the school. Being a single mom means I don't even have the option to stay at home and take care of my kids as I refuse to "live off the system" when I am capable of working. The fact that they still have half-day kindergarten is causing me heartburn as my son will start in the fall. I'm praying I can get my son into the Kindergarten care at EDS because if I don't I have no idea what I will do. I'm not from the area so I don't have a big network or moms or friends or family that could help in that situation.

Despite my complaining I LOVE living in MTL … My only complaint living here has been the way the other ("non-working") moms treat newcomers and working moms. I am proud to be a working mother and I want my daughter to see me as a strong independent woman and know that she can grow up to be the same way.”

Ella – Eating Cupcakes With A Plastic Spork

I was born and raised on the North Side of Pittsburgh to two high school educated parents. I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, more like a plastic spork. We were a typical blue collar family, who lived pay check to pay check … Mt. Lebanon seemed light years away from where I grew up in the 80's. I used to sell beer out in this area in the early 2000's. I used to drive around the neighborhoods while working out here, just in awe of the beauty. I loved the stone homes and community feel. It felt like a country setting only 15 min away from the city. Although, I was young, single, with no kids, I knew someday that all would change. I remember driving around repeating to myself, "I want to raise a family here someday, I would love to live here." I never told anyone and kept my thoughts to myself. It seemed like an unattainable dream, at the time, in a land far far away from my reality.

When we moved here we only had one daughter at the time ... I worked at a restaurant in the Galleria and this is where I started to understand my new community. Many people from Peters, USC, and Lebo dined at the restaurant. Although I felt that "The Housewives" looked down upon me as a server, I was too old to feed into their bullshit … Instead of commenting on their 6 carat diamond rings and black card, I commented on their children's respectful behavior or how beautiful their family was. My comments brought huge smiles to their lonely hearts and botox faces. I got a "feel" of what is important to people around here and it wasn't even on my radar. People would tell me that they paid $500 for a bookshelf at a galleria shop, and I used to say, “wow, I got the same thing at the thrift store for $10 and a can of paint.” I knew that I was always going to stick out like a sore thumb in my new area.

I remember the day that I had to take my daughter to her first day of Kindergarten. She went to the afternoon class, since I am not a morning person. That also meant that she would be dismissed with the rest of the school … As we were nervously waiting at the front door, with the rest of the K parents, I heard a dad say to his son, "If you do that again, I am going to strangle you." My jaw dropped. My jaw dropped not because I was offended by what he said, my jaw dropped because I knew that he was not born and raised in Lebo. I didn't know if I was about to hug him or I was about to High 5 him!

He proceeded to tell me that he grew up East of the city and attended a familiar city school. Like myself, he grew up getting his ass beat … We still remain good friends 3 years later.

This "Time Out" and "Play Date" [stuff] was all new to me. In the city, the only "Time Out" that you got was when your ass got hurt from getting beat. We didn't have a "Play Date," kids just played outside with the kids in the neighborhood, until the street lights came on. It was a whole new world to me Livin La Vida Lebo, as I refer to it. It is no surprise that my circle of good friends in the area were also born with a plastic spork in their mouths.

Fast forward to now, my daughter is finishing 3rd grade and my son will enter K this fall. So much has changed with our family. My no-nonsense attitude and entrepreneurial spirit finally lead me to where I belonged, being a Mom'preneur … I have been renting my whole life because I am a rolling stone. Now that I am a mother, I finally have found a place that I want to grow roots and it is Mt. Lebanon. I cannot see myself anywhere else. The education, the location, the community, it's the perfect tri-fecta! I need to work on my dreams so that I can plant those roots deeply for my children, buying a cool home in a beautiful neighborhood and creating a family business that I can pass along. I love Mt. Lebanon. I still get jokes from my North Side friends and family about living in "Cupcake Land." I love my Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Peanut Free, Cupcake Land. Although we have been renting, I love that the trolley is outside my door. I love that my neighbors are down to earth and caring. I love that I found more of "My peoples." When the time is right, we will purchase our home in Lebo and that will be icing on the Cupcake, fo sho! It doesn't take a village to raise a child in Mt. Lebanon, it takes a Bakery. Being a Mom is never easy, even in "Cupcake Land."

Florence – Sometimes An Emptiness In The Air

“I used to hear a few comments at PTA meetings, like “The stay-at-home moms do all the volunteering”, even though that wasn’t true. And I was never intentionally ostracized, but my experience at PTA meetings and in school activities was that all the other moms knew each other and formed little cliques, whether they were working moms or not, and if they didn’t know you, they didn’t make you feel welcome or invite you in.

Because I worked for 36 years, I never had time to get to know people in the neighborhood and all my friends were co-workers who lived all over the city. I got to know a few of my son’s friends’ moms, and became actual friends with one of them, but other ones were not responsive when I reached out in attempts to form a friendship. Were it not for my husband and son, I would feel very alone in my house, because all my neighbors are introverts and no one invites anyone to their houses or makes any attempt to reach out. I don’t feel a part of the community or any sense that this is a community at all because the neighbors all stick to themselves. It may depend on who lives on your street.

I am aware that some streets have “block parties” and the neighbors seem to all know and enjoy each other and frequently socialize. Not so on our block … I was very glad that Mt. Lebanon had a great daycare center in “Kids Are Us” … They watched my son for two years before he went to kindergarten. My sister watched him up to age 4. Also glad they had the Mt. Lebanon Extended Day Program through the fifth grade. My son went there after school and I was always secure in the knowledge that he was safe.

Mt. Lebanon is a wonderful, picturesque, safe neighborhood with plenty of resources and activities … [except the] lack of community feeling and closeness in my neighborhood where everyone keeps to themselves and there is sometimes an emptiness in the air.

Hazel – A Social Pariah At Pick-Up

“I've had a couple of experiences that I would label as gentle shaming, which has included another mother saying to me, "I don't know how you go to work. I don't think I could leave my daughter with someone else." Another mother commented, "You just seem so busy that we didn't know if we should contact you about (scheduling a group play date, contributing to the teacher's gift, organizing a bake sale, etc.)". I've definitely felt the ostracism. When I am able to pick up my daughter from school, since I don't know the other parents as well as they seem to know each other, I feel disconnected and a bit like a social pariah …

I would love it if Mt. Lebanon could sponsor all day camps for elementary children in the summer. The camps they offer are generally morning camps, and it is difficult to occupy the day for your child when you only have the mornings scheduled. I wish they would also offer a greater diversity of camp opportunities - based upon specific themes or skills - like I have seen offered by the JCC.”

Holly – Of Course I Miss Them

“Most recently, I sat at kindergarten orientation with a mom I kind of know. She sat with other SAHMs, and I was the only working mom. When I began asking questions (that identified myself as working) of the principal, the mom I know shifted in her seat as if to separate herself from me. Now this could have been because I was asking hard questions of the school district and of the “way things have been done” and had nothing to do with the fact that I work full time in addition to being a mom. What I found really interesting about this setting was that it was quite clear that most of the parents in the auditorium that day had taken time off of work, as I had. More often than not, I find myself among parents who also have jobs, either full or part-time. This leads me to wonder about the actual numbers of SAHM in MTL – are they really the majority? Of course this could depend on cohorts…perhaps this is true of moms whose first children are just now entering the public schools? Or perhaps it’s true of particular neighborhoods?

In other settings, I’ve been shamed, perhaps unintentionally, by moms who often wonder how(if) I do it…meaning both balance work and parenting. There often seems to be an underlying message: well, if you didn’t work maybe you could cook more/clean more/get more creative with your kids, etc. Other moms also want to know how I leave my kids for long periods of time every day. I get asked a LOT, “Don’t you miss them?” It’s a frustrating question. Of course I miss them – I didn’t have kids by accident but my circumstances and my desires are such that I work full time. And guess what? I still parent full time, too. It’s not a role that can be switched off just because I head to the office.

And that means I’m not likely going to fundraise, bake cookies, or spend a whole lot of time on evening and weekend events, especially those that my kids aren’t interested in doing … So, don’t take it personally when I reject your offers or your requests, and certainly don’t assume that I don’t prioritize my kids …

And yes, we all need to be supportive of one another. But it’s not enough to say that “we’re all mothers” because we are all different. To ignore difference is ignorant. We face different challenges based on our personal and social contexts. We approach those challenges differently based on so many different things. MTL might not be a racially diverse place, but is has its diversity of situation. In our neighborhood we have working moms, stay at home moms, single moms, moms whose husbands are not present for one reason or another, and even moms who have nannies who are home with them… and that just scratches the surface … It would be easier if we stopped judging others and ourselves.”

Ladora – It Helps My Mommy Guilt

I think my son feels the effect of me being a working mom in MTL. Sometimes he would like to participate in MTL activities associated with the recreation center with his friends but the majority of activities are during working hours.

As a working mom, I truly appreciate the Mt Lebanon Extended Day program. My son attends both morning and afternoon care. He loves it which helps with my mommy guilt knowing that he spends a good amount of time at school during the week.

In addition, I appreciate my [particular] PTA. They balance meetings and events to accommodate both working and stay-at-home mothers.

Linda – Stuck In The Middle Without You

I was just finishing up grad school to earn a master of science in counseling psychology when I found out I was pregnant after being married 17 years and told I could not become pregnant. I was working full-time throughout my schooling as a computer programmer for a large corporation. It took me seven years, year round, 2 classes per semester to complete the required 48 credits … Because much of my education and experience focused on sexual trauma and abuse and thus learned how much more prevalent abuse was (tragically), my husband and I were reluctant to have others care for our child. Thus, it was decided that one of us would stay home to raise our child. As I had planned to transition into another occupation already, I was the person chosen to be that stay-at-home parent.

After being home for 6 months with the baby, I returned to school to complete my internships working only 15 works per week. Once I obtained my degree, I began working towards acquiring my license. As strenuous as working towards my degree was while maintaining full-time employment, work towards licensure was much more arduous! Adjusting to a baby within the marriage, at the age of 43, and facing the prospects of maybe never obtaining licensure was stressful.

As a part-time worker outside the home, I've also been shamed/ostracized by full-time workers for wanting/needing to be a stay-at-home mom (even if part-time) as my contributions to the occupation doesn't warrant much weight or is not taken seriously. I've experienced this attitude from both women and men in my occupation … Comments like "well, I'm not sure you are really dedicated to this field," or "you can't be very effective then" are said. Other times, I am simply not invited to participate in the peer consultation group again.

As far as feeling outcast by the stay-at-home moms, I haven't experienced or heard any direct comments by any one person, although I am often not included in various events -- only after someone might realize that I've found out about the event, then I might be extended an invitation.

Martha – Good Luck Being Let Into That Group

When my daughter was in elementary school, it was staggering how many mothers stayed at home. On the occasions when I took a day or afternoon off for an appointment or to help out at the school, I frequently heard from one of the Stay-At-Home-Moms, "What are YOU doing here? I thought Sally went to Extended Day!" as if I was encroaching on their turf.

Some of the moms who stayed home had my back. But I can count on one hand the number who did.

The good news is [my daughter] has grown to be independent and responsible and a very well-adjusted young lady.

I think that each family makes the choice that is the best for them. Whatever that choice is, we all need to respect that. I never felt internally as if I was abandoning my child or slighting her in any way for not being there to pick her up after school. By working, I am showing her that you can have a family and a job at the same time.

I felt a lot as if I were back in high school with the cliques, like I just didn't measure up. They were all friends, and since I worked, I wasn't part of that. Good luck being let in to that group. I hope that this survey will encourage those who do not work outside the home to be more accepting of those who do. We need to support each other and not tear one another down. What example are we setting for our children?

Rae – I Don’t See A Community Here

I have lived in MTL for a little over two years …I have a love/hate relationship with Lebo … I would rate the environment at a 3 for any type of mother that is not a SAHM and married.

I am a single mother in addition to being a working mother. I was ostracized at my own child's birthday party. I feel that most of it is more subtle. What I experience most is people simply acting as if they don't hear you. It's really rather amazing. I would also say that my child's father is not treated in the same manner as I. It is more acceptable for him to be a single and working father. In chaperone and birthday events, I am generally ignored completely. Working mothers do speak to me.

I have seen the same practice in my neighbors. I grew up in rural PA and lived in various neighborhoods within the city of Pittsburgh for 15 years prior to moving to Lebo. I do not know my neighbors. I did when I lived anywhere else. We spent time together and helped one another. I do not feel the same sense of community here … the level of entitlement and poor treatment of others I have experienced here is mind blowing and not something I have experienced anywhere else. This is my personal experience and the experience of those close to me.

I'm here for the school district and I truly hope now that I haven't done my child a disservice in allowing her to grow up in this environment rather than one with more diversity. All I can do is instill values that are important to me and my family and hope that resonates with her more strongly than what she may experience as a member of this "community." I don't see a community here and if it exists it feels a bit too Stepfordish for my liking.