Can we disagree without being disagreeable?

I was blind copied on the email that went out to many Mt. Lebanon residents announcing a public forum that is also posted on the Center Court Blog.

In the media, on the playing field, in the halls of government and in our neighborhoods, conflict has increased and public dialogue is often hostile, causing many of us to wonder….can we disagree without being disagreeable?

I hope the School Board Directors attend the forum. If there is one thing that has divided our community, we all know that it is the high school renovation. The Concerned Citizens of Mt. Lebanon joined together trying to be heard, but ended up being bullied, accused of fear mongering, denied Right To Know information, sued, ignored, cut off at School Board meetings, being the target of Almanac letters written by School Board Directors, had unanswered emails and phone calls, and on and on.

One way to prevent people from being disagreeable is to be willing to have two way conversation.  I remember hearing one review team meeting podcast where dialogue was discouraged. Announce on the agenda that you will be discussing single vs. prime.  Print "THE LIST" well before the Architect's Update, not minutes before the meeting.  Perhaps sending "THE LIST" directly to the resident/architect/blogger requesting "THE LIST" would have been appropriate.

Even the School Board Members cannot disagree without the risk of being ostracized.  How sad.

There is a lot written about this topic. From Disagree Without Being Disagreeable:

It Starts At The Top
It is the leader's job to provide the vision for the group. A good executive must have a dream and the ability to get the company to support that dream. But it is not enough to merely have the dream. The leader must also provide the framework by which the people in the organization can help achieve the dream. This is called company culture.
When your company culture allows people to challenge ideas, suggestions, and plans, you create an organization of thinking, committed people capable of producing the kind of innovation and productivity required to succeed today. However, if your company culture does not allowed dissent, if people who suggest alternatives are castigated for not being "team players", you produce an environment of fear, stagnation, and antipathy. Not allowing appropriate dissent will kill your company [or school district].

 and

Foster a culture in your company where differing opinions are encouraged. Avoid the temptation to surround yourself with individuals who are so similar to you that they can't offer a different perspective. Don't surround yourself with people who are so afraid that they won't dissent. Reward creativity and original thought in your decision-making process. Hang on to those people who have mastered the art of disagreeing without being disagreeable. Maybe then you can avoid being blindsided by events.

 The Board can't say they were blindsided by the chain of events that have occurred.  They have been warned time and again.  The Posti Postulate is alive and well.

I started a new poll and hope that people vote.  It is a way to agree or disagree without being disagreeable.